Rules / Guidelines

1. No phones. These will be allocated to a lock-box upon arrival and locked for the entire event. (Make plans / send notifications in advance). 

2. Radical participation. Everyone must participate fully in the event, as well as the dinner & drinks. (please provide any restrictions, allergies or intolerance's in advance).

3. Be on time. If you are late, you will be excluded for the night, and banned from future dinners.

4. Bring an item of interest - As per the invite.

5. Bring a story or a toast - Every member must participate (as per rule 2).

6. Plan ahead (no drinking/driving). You must stay for the entirety of the event (There is no coming late or leaving early). Beds for each individual will be provided if required.

7. Dress-code: Follow the dress code rules - It's a special occasion, dress accordingly - As per the invite.

8. Openness and honesty. Our mission is to create a fully transparent atmosphere where men can feel comfortable being themselves, and discussing topics that they may not normally be comfortable discussing in public. What is spoken and shared at mans dinner,  stays at mans dinner - and is not to be shared publicly unless a member explicitly gives consent. This is a safe space, and to be treated with reverence, and respect. 

9. Always adhere to the Bro-code.

10. Uphold Manly Honor:

A code of honor. A code of honor lays out the standards that must be reached in order for a person to receive respect within a group. These rules outline what it takes to obtain honor (or respect), and how it may be lost. That last stipulation is paramount: honor that cannot be lost is not honor.

Codes of honor often lay out very high standards for the group, but despite their difficulty, codes of honor are always viewed as minimum standards for inclusion. If you can’t meet them, then you’re seen as deficient, even despicable, and are thus shamed.

An honor group. An honor group consists of individuals who understand and have committed to live the code of honor. That everyone in the group has done this is understood by all other members of the group. Because honor depends on respect, an honor group must be a society of equals. Honor is based on the judgments of other members in the group, therefore the opinion of those members must matter to you, and they won’t if you don’t see them as your equals. Respect is a two-way street. While you might respect someone above you in the social pecking order, it’s hard to respect someone you think is beneath you.

Honor groups must also be exclusive. If everyone and anyone can be part of the group, regardless of whether they live by the code or not, then honor becomes meaningless. Egalitarianism and honor cannot coexist.

Finally, the honor group needs to be tight-knit and intimate. A society governed by mutual respect requires everyone in the society to know each other and interact face-to-face. Honor cannot exist in a society where anonymity dominates.

Shame. A person who fails to live up to the group’s code loses his honor — his right to the respect of the other honor group members as equals. A healthy feeling of shame, or the recognition that a person has failed to live up to the honor group’s code is necessary for honor to exist. When individuals stop caring whether they’ve lost their right to respect in the group (i.e. living without shame), honor loses its power to compel and check individuals’ behavior.

Horizontal honor is an all-or-nothing game. You either have the respect of your peers or you don’t. Bringing dishonor upon yourself by failing to meet the minimum standards of the group (or showing disdain or indifference for those standards) means exclusion from the group, as well as shame. Thus, in a tribe/team/group/gang, horizontal honor serves as a dividing line between us and them, between the honorable and the despicable.

I like to think of horizontal honor as your membership card into a club. To get the card, you need to meet a baseline of criteria. When you present the card at the clubhouse door, you have access to all the rights and privileges that come with being a member of that club. To maintain your status and inclusion in the club, you must conform to the club rules. Failure to conform results in your membership card being taken away and exclusion from the club.

This card analogy still resonates today in the few corrupted threads of honor that remain in our culture. Men will talk about taking away each other’s “man cards” — but the violations that invoke this mocking “punishment” are for frivolous things like drinking a fruity cocktail at a bar, and bear only the faintest echoes of the original code of men.

Should any of these covenants be broken, you will be excluded from participating in any future mans dinners or private events. Period.